My Favorite Painting

For some reason some people want to know which one of my paintings is my favorite. The answer is all of them, which doesn’t seem to satisfy their curiosity. But the truth is, each painting is my favorite at different times depending on what’s going on in my life at any given time. I know…I know… BORING!

Ok, I’ll give you a little something…

One of the cool things that I love about being an artist is that ideas seem to be developing in my head all the time. I look for most of my ideas as I walk through life and interact with people. Usually the idea for a painting goes through an incubation period, which could be anywhere from a few hours, to a few days, to months or even years. Then all of a sudden I need to put it onto canvas when the time is right. Then again, sometimes I don’t have to look far for an idea, because it comes screaming in my face “PAINT THIS!” Like following two paintings . . .

Holding On 36" x 36" oil on canvas by Melanie Banayat

“Holding on”, and “Letting Go” each have a strong personal significance to me. It’s interesting how the titles of these two paintings present a dichotomy, yet they work well together toward a common goal – a better future. Those two expressions were repeated over and over again to me from many different people. At first I didn’t really understand what they meant. They would say, “Hold on -- things will get better some day!” I didn’t feel like I could hold on, especially when it felt like I was living in an ongoing nightmare! They would also tell me to, “Just let it go, you’ll see, ‘trust me’ -- things will eventually work out for the better!” I didn’t know how to trust them (or anyone else for that matter) when it seemed like everyone and everything was against me, and trying to send me to an early grave.

There are few things in life that feel more vulnerable then to be standing naked before the world for everyone to see your every flaw, every mistake, and every shortcoming. To feel as though you have been stripped of everything that is dignified, and/or important to you in life. To come face to face with a reality that is harder than you have ever endured in your lifetime, and just when you feel you can’t take anymore, things get worse. My question to myself when I was coming up with the idea for this painting was, “how do I paint that image without her looking defeated?” I want the image to represent hope in the midst of chaos, and pain.


The two triangle marks on the woman’s cheekbone represent the Pascua Yaqui Indian symbol for tears (or rain). I remember going on and on for about 8 months where I couldn’t keep myself from being brought to tears. If a cashier at a grocery store asked me how I was, my eyes would well up and I would try to choke back my true feelings and force a smile, because it wasn’t their fault that I was feeling distraught and sorry for myself. But I could tell that some people could see that I was in pain. I could tell that they felt for me. Others were kind enough to ask if there was anything they could do to help. Eventually I began to share my story with people who were willing to let me take up some of their time, and others were willing to share some of their stories with me, which is how I was eventually inspired to do these paintings.

Letting Go 36" x 36" oil on canvas by Melanie Banayat

Simply stated, The Stone & the Vine in “Letting Go” represent the burden and the stronghold.

The fact is ‘WE’ hold all the power over the majority of the strongholds in our life. The power is all in letting go of the burdens, the supposed need, and/or the fears. More often than not the things that keep us from moving on, or from feeling joy can usually be attributed to the idea that we need to have control over the things, situations, and people in our life, “if only they would do as I wish everything would be so much better!” But the truth is, the more we try to control everything, the more people pull away, and things all around us fall apart in direct connection to our life.

The woman in “Letting Go” is dropping the stone from her hand, and the amazing phenomenon that ultimately occurs, which she has to have complete faith in, is that at the very moment she lets it go is the very moment that the vine lets go of her. Fully trusting the process is something that many of us are unwilling risk, but the irony is that even if we don’t surrender to the process – we will still have to face the cause and effect of the strongholds in one way or another. In essence, Letting Go, actually holds more power then trying to force something to happen “Your Way.”

It is empowering; it is freedom!

Link to Pasqua Yaqui symbols


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My Favorite Painting