NEW. Bed of Flowers 36" x 36" oil on canvas by Melanie Banayat
Giving Yourself What You Did Not Get From Your Parents
‘Bed of Flowers’ is one of my more Ethereal looking pieces.
The inspiration behind Bed of Flowers comes from the many stories I’ve heard from adults who are grown children of parents whose parenting skills fell short of perfect, which pretty much fits most people’s childhood experiences.
I know that sounds pretty deep – like "lying on the sofa talking to a therapist deep".
Fact is children are dependent little buggers, they depend on their parent(s) to feed them, cloth them, and take care of all of their basic needs to sustain their life. But it doesn’t stop there. Children look to their parent(s) for more than just their basic needs. They pine for their approval and acceptance. They watch so closely studying how their parents walk through life until one day they find themselves “all grown up”, but still feeling like that little child “pining”.
A therapist once told me that as an adult ‘I’ can give to myself what my parents weren’t able to give me. That sounded sort of strange and funny. It took experiencing a number of years as a parent myself to understand what she meant.
Thank goodness as a parent I can admit I’m not perfect! I’m so glad I can admit that! Perfection is too high of an expectation for anyone. There is simply no way that I can give my children everything they need and want from me, because I’m still learning “how to be” in this world myself. When they become adults they will continue to grow, change, need and want, and they will have to get much of what they need and want from others, or they too will have to learn how to give themselves what they need and want (emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, etc.). Hopefully they will seek for mentors that inspire them, and surround themselves with the type of people that feed their spirit, lift their souls, and encourage them in just they right way that helps them become the happiest person they can be. More importantly, I hope they will be willing to surrender any pain that I may have been part of in their life and hand that burden over to their Heavenly Father – as often as necessary.
‘Bed of Flowers’ is a sweet piece that represents the parent child relationship. We know that there is so much life to live ahead of the little baby and already she is looking at her mother, admiring her, watching her so closely. And the mother, so young, still growing and learning along the way.
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.
~Joyce Maynard
You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.
~William D. Tammeus
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.
~John Wilmot
* Click Here for Instructions on how to post a comment on my blog without a Google Account. It's easy!
MiliGirl Note Cards make unique gifts for women. Find and send the perfect "Just Because" greeting card at the MiliGirl Collection online store.
Please share this post with others - Thanks! Melanie Banayat
The inspiration behind Bed of Flowers comes from the many stories I’ve heard from adults who are grown children of parents whose parenting skills fell short of perfect, which pretty much fits most people’s childhood experiences.
I know that sounds pretty deep – like "lying on the sofa talking to a therapist deep".
Fact is children are dependent little buggers, they depend on their parent(s) to feed them, cloth them, and take care of all of their basic needs to sustain their life. But it doesn’t stop there. Children look to their parent(s) for more than just their basic needs. They pine for their approval and acceptance. They watch so closely studying how their parents walk through life until one day they find themselves “all grown up”, but still feeling like that little child “pining”.
A therapist once told me that as an adult ‘I’ can give to myself what my parents weren’t able to give me. That sounded sort of strange and funny. It took experiencing a number of years as a parent myself to understand what she meant.
Thank goodness as a parent I can admit I’m not perfect! I’m so glad I can admit that! Perfection is too high of an expectation for anyone. There is simply no way that I can give my children everything they need and want from me, because I’m still learning “how to be” in this world myself. When they become adults they will continue to grow, change, need and want, and they will have to get much of what they need and want from others, or they too will have to learn how to give themselves what they need and want (emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, etc.). Hopefully they will seek for mentors that inspire them, and surround themselves with the type of people that feed their spirit, lift their souls, and encourage them in just they right way that helps them become the happiest person they can be. More importantly, I hope they will be willing to surrender any pain that I may have been part of in their life and hand that burden over to their Heavenly Father – as often as necessary.
‘Bed of Flowers’ is a sweet piece that represents the parent child relationship. We know that there is so much life to live ahead of the little baby and already she is looking at her mother, admiring her, watching her so closely. And the mother, so young, still growing and learning along the way.
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.
~Joyce Maynard
You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.
~William D. Tammeus
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.
~John Wilmot
* Click Here for Instructions on how to post a comment on my blog without a Google Account. It's easy!
MiliGirl Note Cards make unique gifts for women. Find and send the perfect "Just Because" greeting card at the MiliGirl Collection online store.
Please share this post with others - Thanks! Melanie Banayat
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4 comments:
Melanie,
Happy October! I've been away from the blog scene for a few weeks but it's always refreshing to come back to your blog. Parenting and children, hmmm. I learned alot more about myself from my kids than I ever learned from my parents. Relationships with parents always seem to be testing and rebellious. With kids it is never anything other than humbling.
beautiful painting! great post, i did learn plenty from my parents, but as my children grew-up i learned more each day. i've learned even more about myself, and what i wish i had taught them now that nearly all of them are away from the nest.
I remember about 12 years ago a book came out called, "Parent's book of instructions". It was thick, but not thick enough. I'm sure the book had much good advice, like Dr. Spock! Remember him? Hmmm? Parenthood is a challenge for sure. Humbling - definitely! A lot of us were determined to do a better job with our kids than our parents with us -- once again... hmmmm?
Not sure what my folks did right, but I can't imagine a better childhood. I think the most important thing was just love. All the time, no matter what was going on, I knew they loved me.
The rest is just hard knock lessons. :)
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